Candle light, with my guy by my side. I was hungry and ready to try the best thing on the menu. I did not grow up eating fish, so I couldn't have known any better as I dug into my delicious fillet. Bones! Fishes have them and they don't always get taken out! In my excitement for the flavor on my pallet I swallowed too much, too fast. I asked Arturo if it was bad to swallow bones, and he said yes. I could feel it, but it didn't hurt so I considered eating more to help it go down smoothly. Luckily Arturo knew that those little buggers can be sharp and suggested I go to the ladies room to get it up.
I excused myself and began my novice work on throat manipulation. Then, a little girl knocked on the door. Luckily I could hear her over all my hacking. Her and her daddy had no idea what was going on inside that one-stall bathroom, but as I listened to the candid child I quickly learned that she had pressing needs too. I decided to gather my composure and go back to the table; hoping that if I ignored it, I would be okay. Then I tried to talk and felt the bone pricking me in the throat again. The anticipation grew as I watched for the kid and her dad to finish so I could claim my lot once again. The two young men sitting outside the bathroom must have noticed the drama unfolding before their eyes, but at this point I was on a mission to not let the bone get the best of me. On my return to the wash room I claimed my family's reputation for excellence at innovation, and grabbed the desk lamp (used for atmospheric hue) and pointed it down my throat. I decided if I couldn't see the little jabber I would seek professional help.
Praise God I caught a glips of the tiny bone sticking into my throat wall, but I still I had no luck in getting it out. I walked out to Arturo with one eye on the bathroom door and one eye in deep thought. Then, the chopsticks appeared in all their glory upon the napkin. I grabbed the chop sticks and asked Arturo to accompany me to the ladies room. At this point I believed every eye in the restaurant was watching our inconspicuous steps away from our plates, one meal mostly eaten, the other with only one savored bite gone.
What a relief! Arturo's talent at chopsticks paid off! I have rarely felt so fortunate to swallow, talk, and breath! Please take heed; next time you order fish make sure you get it with sticks! As for the chips? Well, you can taken 'em or leave 'em. -from FALL 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Supernatural Changes: (Check in regularly for updates)
Prayer is beautiful. Here are a few examples of wonders I can't take credit for: (recent items listed first)
- I was having one of those lonely moments around the holidays and decided to pass time by watching a U2 DVD about the making of the Joshua Tree Album. When I saw The Edge, hansom in his cowboy hat, I couldn’t help myself anymore and blurted out to my mom and aunt Lisa: “If you ever meet a young Christian guy who looks like that, send him my way!” God must have been listening then too because several weeks after I started dating Arturo he showed up wearing a beanie on his head. I thought he was just trying to flatter me by doing an impersonation, but he hadn’t heard about my love for U2 yet. Of course, Arturo's "look" is just a side-note to all the real reasons why I love him. In case you haven't met him: He is a ton of fun, is artistic to his core, brilliantly wise, and his deep, honest roots make him consistent, calm and adventurous at all the right times. Our differences are complimentary while our similarities make it easy to spend an obscene amount of time together. Needless to say, I’m excited to be spending my life with Arturo, no matter what hat he's got on his head.
- Unknowingly, I prayed for what most New Yorkers think is impossible. An apartment with a big kitchen, an extra room for guests, a convenient location, safe neighborhood, and something affordable. What did I get? All of that plus furniture and wallpaper that reminds me growing up in Ohio. Not to mention, a location that is only 20minutes from Arturo, who I would eventually meet and ended up dating only five months later. How cool is that! The short version makes it sound so nice and easy, but in reality I needed to deal with my pride and expectations before I could recognize what was being offered.
- New York, NY.... the story is too long for this, so instead I have a blog fully dedicated to the story. Please read "How I landed this real-life gig in NYC" for all the details.
- I saw a video of Dance Ad Deum and knew that was the dance company I wanted to dance with if there was any possible way for me to dance professionally. Praise God I didn't follow a boy to Boston! And I'm so grateful that somehow I was good enough to get in. Those were a precious five years in Houston!
- Becoming a college student made me really excited... I was especially excited to live with some girls (growing up with brothers was great... but I thought it would be nice to have a sister too.) So, when my first roommate was well.... just a roommate. I decided to opt for the random lottery and see who I got for my sophomore year. Who did I get, but Tracey Jo Forbes (now Hoesch). She not only grew up with all brothers too, she even looked and talked like me. Another answer to my prayers that I am still, and always will be, thankful for.
- I'm not good with decisions. So, I needed God's help in deciding what college to go to... what I heard back was a scripture. "Seek first the Kingdom of God." So I picked Hope College. It probably wasn't the college my ballet teacher would have recommended, but I could study dance and business and I knew that a dynamic spiritual life was available on campus. I grew so much by being challenged in so many divers ways, I can not imagine a better college experience.
- I was baptized at age 10. The Holy Spirit must have arrived on the scene then, because it helped me live through some dark Junior High secrets. Read the blog "My choice to Live" for more details on this story.
- I was born into an awesome family. Maybe I prayed for that before I was even born? Maybe someone else was praying for me? Or maybe sometimes God just blesses us without us asking for it.
Friday, July 3, 2009
My choice to Live:
I'm so glad I made it through junior high... there was a time when I didn't think I would.
During the day I tried to be like any regular junior high school student, but at night I couldn’t avoid what was going on inside my head; I found myself dealing with a very sincere fear of death. I'm not certain why, but for some reason i was aware of the fact that I had no control over when or how I died, and that [almost literally] scared me to death. Funny enough, I thought life (and death) would be better if I was in control. I guess I still had to learn some humility. Luckily, this was going to be the first of many opportunities for me to see that my life is better in someone else’s hands than my own.
So instead of falling asleep, I cried. A lot, and loudly…. On purpose too… hoping that someone would come to me, saying exactly what I wanted to hear; 100% assurance that everything was going to be okay. My parents were amazing. They did come, and they said what they could, but for some reason it was never enough. Only God knows how many nights this ritual went on, finally one night I realized all this emotional drama was not taking me to where I wanted to be and there was no use in it going on forever. I'm pretty sure there was a moment where I imagined "just getting it over with." Though I don't remember the rest of the details, I do know how it ended.
I saw something, without actually seeing it. A dark cloud hanging, just under my ceiling, that opened to show two faces looking down at me telling me it was time to choose between the two of them. I remembered the things I had been taught in Sunday school... that God brought me into existence, and that He is good. I figured if He gave me my life then why should I expect Him to take it away in some harsh, terrible, premature way. I could either trust His good intentions and accept that if something senseless happens, it won't be senseless to Him... OR take things into my own hands and finish it off with the method of my choice.
In order to get on with my life I had to trust that God is good, that His intentions are good, and that He has power to affect our lives on earth. (Even if He's not the only powerful force on earth, at least He's got the victory when it counts.) I'm so glad I figured that out, I've been able to do more and love more than I ever dreamed of with Him as the leader in my life.
During the day I tried to be like any regular junior high school student, but at night I couldn’t avoid what was going on inside my head; I found myself dealing with a very sincere fear of death. I'm not certain why, but for some reason i was aware of the fact that I had no control over when or how I died, and that [almost literally] scared me to death. Funny enough, I thought life (and death) would be better if I was in control. I guess I still had to learn some humility. Luckily, this was going to be the first of many opportunities for me to see that my life is better in someone else’s hands than my own.
So instead of falling asleep, I cried. A lot, and loudly…. On purpose too… hoping that someone would come to me, saying exactly what I wanted to hear; 100% assurance that everything was going to be okay. My parents were amazing. They did come, and they said what they could, but for some reason it was never enough. Only God knows how many nights this ritual went on, finally one night I realized all this emotional drama was not taking me to where I wanted to be and there was no use in it going on forever. I'm pretty sure there was a moment where I imagined "just getting it over with." Though I don't remember the rest of the details, I do know how it ended.
I saw something, without actually seeing it. A dark cloud hanging, just under my ceiling, that opened to show two faces looking down at me telling me it was time to choose between the two of them. I remembered the things I had been taught in Sunday school... that God brought me into existence, and that He is good. I figured if He gave me my life then why should I expect Him to take it away in some harsh, terrible, premature way. I could either trust His good intentions and accept that if something senseless happens, it won't be senseless to Him... OR take things into my own hands and finish it off with the method of my choice.
In order to get on with my life I had to trust that God is good, that His intentions are good, and that He has power to affect our lives on earth. (Even if He's not the only powerful force on earth, at least He's got the victory when it counts.) I'm so glad I figured that out, I've been able to do more and love more than I ever dreamed of with Him as the leader in my life.
Friday, January 16, 2009
How I landed this real-life gig in NYC:
I don’t dream much beyond the present most of the time. So when I had finally fulfilled my heart's desire to dance with Ad Deum Dance Company in Houston, I was pretty clueless as to what I should do next. My greatest desire was that it somehow include resting and slowing down my life-pace.
I quit the dance company after performing for four years (originally I figured I'd be "down south" 1-5 years). So now it was time to figure the rest out. I ended up waiting, sometimes patiently, sometime not so patiently, for a reason to move “up north.” I didn’t know that it was going to be a long wait; it lasted a year!
During one of my visits with the founder/director of Ad Deum, he handed me a book simply because he thought I should read it. It was about the life of Alvin Ailey. I enjoyed the book and learned a lot. I was glad to know more about American dance history, but thought that its usefulness wouldn’t go much deeper than that.
I figured since I accomplished my first dream to dance with Ad Deum I should come up with a new dream and shoot for that. So I auditioned for the on/off Broadway show “Lion King.” I flew to Atlanta and Orlando, staying with friends and going to the auditions. Soon I realized no matter how hard I pursued it, I would never have the right “look” they were looking for. So I decided to move on.
Being single still and feeling fulfilled that I had done everything I imagined for myself to do as a singe woman, I changed my focus to moving somewhere where I thought I could spend the rest of my life. I looked to Ann Arbor, Michigan because of its location to my family and close college friends. I found a dance school and company I thought would be nice to work for and applied. Eventually I found my dream house to rent, everything seemed to be lining up. But very slowly…
I remembered a fascination I had for Jacob’s Pillow Dance Festival so I looked on their website to see if there was anything I could do for the upcoming summer season to “kill time” until the job in Michigan was official. The first several times I looked nothing was posted of interest to me. Finally, a few weeks before the festival was scheduled to start I found a summer job that interested me. I applied, though it was likely not available anymore; I figured at least there was no harm in trying. Wouldn’t you know I got the job and was on my way out of Houston.
My attempt to get a job in Michigan lasted all summer, finally my second interview in Michigan was scheduled for a few days after leaving Jacob’s Pillow.
During the summer I met a ton of wonderful people, and a handful of them were talking about moving or returning to New York City. One person in particular worked for Alvin Ailey Dance Company and reiterated my previous experiences that anyone I’ve ever met who works for Alvin Ailey is truly wonderful, therefore it would be a great place to work. So, when I heard my twin brother was moving to New York City it “sealed the deal,” I thought, “I should see if the Ailey organization is hiring… just in case Michigan doesn’t work out.” No other set of circumstances would have EVER allowed me to consider moving to New York City in a favorable light.
Sure enough, Ailey had a job posting that fit my expertise. However, I heard very little from the Ailey organization after submitting my resume and thought the little prayer I whispered while sending it off had no affect; I figured they had already found someone.
So when my second interview in Michigan made me feel like a crash and burn victim I felt completely lost. I drove back to my parent’s house. During the three-hour-long drive I cried and confronted God with my concerns. I wouldn’t mind living at my parent’s house for a little bit, but how long would it last?
I was at my lowest point during the drive when I received a phone call from the Ailey organization; they wanted to know if I would still be interested in the job! Of course! I flew out the next day to do an interview. After three days of interviews I was offered the job. I was so caught off guard, I felt like I was having an out of body experience. Or maybe it was more like a rude awakening; I never intended this for myself. But after making the move it didn’t take long for me to realize that I actually enjoy living in The City, more than I ever thought possible.
This experience has reminded me of a beautiful scripture, Ephesians 3:20 “…God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…”. I’m not sure what is next; all I know is that God is good and the only thing He requires of me is my life. So I am giving it to Him with each step, one step at a time.
I quit the dance company after performing for four years (originally I figured I'd be "down south" 1-5 years). So now it was time to figure the rest out. I ended up waiting, sometimes patiently, sometime not so patiently, for a reason to move “up north.” I didn’t know that it was going to be a long wait; it lasted a year!
During one of my visits with the founder/director of Ad Deum, he handed me a book simply because he thought I should read it. It was about the life of Alvin Ailey. I enjoyed the book and learned a lot. I was glad to know more about American dance history, but thought that its usefulness wouldn’t go much deeper than that.
I figured since I accomplished my first dream to dance with Ad Deum I should come up with a new dream and shoot for that. So I auditioned for the on/off Broadway show “Lion King.” I flew to Atlanta and Orlando, staying with friends and going to the auditions. Soon I realized no matter how hard I pursued it, I would never have the right “look” they were looking for. So I decided to move on.
Being single still and feeling fulfilled that I had done everything I imagined for myself to do as a singe woman, I changed my focus to moving somewhere where I thought I could spend the rest of my life. I looked to Ann Arbor, Michigan because of its location to my family and close college friends. I found a dance school and company I thought would be nice to work for and applied. Eventually I found my dream house to rent, everything seemed to be lining up. But very slowly…
I remembered a fascination I had for Jacob’s Pillow Dance Festival so I looked on their website to see if there was anything I could do for the upcoming summer season to “kill time” until the job in Michigan was official. The first several times I looked nothing was posted of interest to me. Finally, a few weeks before the festival was scheduled to start I found a summer job that interested me. I applied, though it was likely not available anymore; I figured at least there was no harm in trying. Wouldn’t you know I got the job and was on my way out of Houston.
My attempt to get a job in Michigan lasted all summer, finally my second interview in Michigan was scheduled for a few days after leaving Jacob’s Pillow.
During the summer I met a ton of wonderful people, and a handful of them were talking about moving or returning to New York City. One person in particular worked for Alvin Ailey Dance Company and reiterated my previous experiences that anyone I’ve ever met who works for Alvin Ailey is truly wonderful, therefore it would be a great place to work. So, when I heard my twin brother was moving to New York City it “sealed the deal,” I thought, “I should see if the Ailey organization is hiring… just in case Michigan doesn’t work out.” No other set of circumstances would have EVER allowed me to consider moving to New York City in a favorable light.
Sure enough, Ailey had a job posting that fit my expertise. However, I heard very little from the Ailey organization after submitting my resume and thought the little prayer I whispered while sending it off had no affect; I figured they had already found someone.
So when my second interview in Michigan made me feel like a crash and burn victim I felt completely lost. I drove back to my parent’s house. During the three-hour-long drive I cried and confronted God with my concerns. I wouldn’t mind living at my parent’s house for a little bit, but how long would it last?
I was at my lowest point during the drive when I received a phone call from the Ailey organization; they wanted to know if I would still be interested in the job! Of course! I flew out the next day to do an interview. After three days of interviews I was offered the job. I was so caught off guard, I felt like I was having an out of body experience. Or maybe it was more like a rude awakening; I never intended this for myself. But after making the move it didn’t take long for me to realize that I actually enjoy living in The City, more than I ever thought possible.
This experience has reminded me of a beautiful scripture, Ephesians 3:20 “…God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…”. I’m not sure what is next; all I know is that God is good and the only thing He requires of me is my life. So I am giving it to Him with each step, one step at a time.
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