Seeing -
I arrived at a friend’s going away party with anticipation of seeing my newfound crush. The room was packed, so I scanned the crowd for any Havenites he might be with. Though I did not remember seeing a Jesus-looking guy at the Haven, I somehow knew the enthusiastic guy chatting in the far corner was part of the Haven crew. Unfortunately, since my crush wasn’t in that corner, I never made my way across the room and missed my first chance to meet Arturo.
I said a little prayer asking for opportunities to get to know my crush, it was answered so much I became nervous he might think I was stalking him. A few months passed while I took everything in stride and tried to stay open to other possible romances too. One night at the Haven, Arturo filled in for the usual discussion group leader. He had us each share our names with a story of a recent splurge. When Arturo spoke about a coat he purchased because it would be more appropriate for the NYC dating scene I imagined how nice it would be to have dinner and conversation with him. I liked his accent and I could tell he knew how to handle a date. However my daydream was quickly dismissed as I told myself “this guy is shorter then you, he will never ask you out!”
Speaking -
Several months later (April 2008) another party invitation came my way. I knew I should go, especially because my crush would probably be there too, so I talked my tired, home-body-self into going. Part of my intuition knew that this night could be life changing. After I had been at the party for a while, I realized I had been talking to my girl friends the whole time and there was no sign of my crush. I decided if I was going to meet any men I would have to go talk to some guys. I wasn’t sure where to start but when I saw Arturo I jumped-up off the couch and began telling him about the conversation I had just finished with the girls about our need to go camping as a get-away from the city. (He was planing a hiking trip for the Haven, so it seemed like a very natural transition to me.) Arturo and I talked for bits at a time. By the end of the night he was definitely flirting with me but I wasn’t sure if he was actually interested in me or just caught up in the party spirit, so I decided I would give it time and see what happens.
Listening -
The next Haven meeting was a few days later and by that time I had observed my crush enough to realize that he didn’t like me and he was not the right type of guy for me either - I needed someone to balance out my indecisiveness. Somehow, Arturo “read” me well from the very beginning. During the party we had discussed going to a concert after tonight’s meeting but I knew I couldn’t be out late. So when the meeting ended, I dallied around talking to friends and declining their offers to hang out. Finally the lobby began to clear and Arturo and I were able to talk. He suggested we go out for a quick drink instead of going to the concert, and I was relieved. As we walked through the doors of the bar I couldn’t believe I had forgotten to get cash! I was turning around to go to an ATM when Arturo told me to not worry, he’d take care of it. His friend Randall joined us, so I still wasn’t sure what Arturo was thinking, but I enjoyed myself none-the-less. When it was time to leave, he offered to walk me to the D-train, which was a long walk (something I had never considered doing before, making it all the more enticing and romantic). As we parted ways on the train he said he was excited to get to know me and I finally let myself admit that he might actually be interested in me.
The next day I sent a text message saying thank you for the walk. He replied saying he would call on Wednesday and then he actually did! In the phone conversation he invited me to join him and his friends for lunch after church, so I thought it natural in invite myself to his church. (During our party conversation I had explained that I was “church shopping” and he had mentioned his interest in seeing what I might think of his church.) It was a bit awkward as he explained that everyone would assume we were dating, but in the end he decided if I was crazy enough to suggest it, why not?
Dating -
Sunday I met his parents, brother, and life-long friends. Old women rushed to give him excited hugs and wish him a happy birthday. I was shocked, not about the family or friends, but about the birthday! My anxiety grew as I hoped to hear that his birthday had passed, or at least wasn’t today. Fortunate enough, it was coming on Thursday. We spent the whole day together walking and driving around Brooklyn. (Yep, he's a real, certified NYC tour guide.) When it was over he suggested we go climbing in a gym sometime during the week. The best night for us to go was on Thursday, his birthday. I was concerned he might want to celebrate with family, but he admitted he’d rather celebrate with a beautiful girl. (I’m sure I blushed.)
After the next Haven meeting we went out with some friends for food. On our way home Arturo asked me to share something unique about myself, something that I love that most people don’t, so I told him about the beautiful oil refinery lights that line the roads near the Gulf of Mexico. Once seated on the train we spotted a poem hanging just above our heads. It was celebrating the perspectives a native New Yorker and a relocated resident bring to the city; the timing was uncanny.
Liking -
I had three days to figure out how I was going to handle his birthday. I enjoyed experimenting with chocolate/peanut butter cupcakes and going shopping for adult-size pixy sticks. On the big day we met on the corner of Central Park near a fountain and I handed him a greasy paper bag full of yummy goodness. After climbing at the gym I treated him to dinner at his favorite tap bar. Secretly, I had prepared to give Arturo a birthday kiss, but when he casually explained he wanted to take things slow I decided to let him choose when the timing was right.
The next Sunday was Mother’s day and I went to Arturo’s church again. I was feeling under the weather so I went home afterwards but Arturo showed up later with some chicken soup to help me feel better. For some reason he was inspired to give me a quick first kiss then. I was not feeling attractive at all, so I was very impressed and surprised by his spontaneous move.
Loving -
The next thing he did to blow me away took much more planning on his part. My Haven small group was running long and I could tell from the messages on my cell that he was getting impatient for me to get out. I was a bit taken back when I finally made it outside and didn’t see him waiting for me. I stood there waiting until he finally caught my attention; I looked up and saw him sitting in a red Mustang convertible! I ran over, still not sure what to think, and he told me to jump in. I ran back to my friends and hugged them goodbye before amusing his request to jump in the car - Dukes of Hazard style! After we drove around Manhattan and got a bite to eat, we headed home by going over the Manhattan Bridge. He stopped in the middle of the bridge and told me to turn around and look at the city. Then he said, “it’s not an oil refinery but it’s the best I could do” and my heart melted as I realized that my long wait for love was over and completely worth it.
