True Airport Dream -
I was stuck in the airport on my way back from my college roommate’s wedding and I could not have been happier. I had danced my heart out with my friends like we used to at our secret dorm room dance parties. We were so foolish I was almost concerned about what my parents were thinking. My toast was a hit and I treasured the intimacy of the three-woman bridal party.
When it came time to return to Houston my light heart could not be burdened by the flight delays. I sat at the gate with my book and stuffed my face with a salad while enjoying some people watching. Before I knew it a handsome young man walked up to the counter. I could tell he was cool as soon as I saw his hiking backpack stuffed to the brim. I instantly hoped he would sit by me, but then immediately locked my eyes on the food in my lap. With my peripheral vision I sensed him walking down the isle toward me. He walked across where I was sitting and sat just a few seats away. After a while, I needed to use the restroom, so I decided to ask him to watch my bags. When I returned I thanked him, and went back to reading the Da Vinci Code. There was a long silence as we both continued reading our books. Then he asked the favor in return. Finally he started a conversation by asking me if I liked what I was reading. After talking about the book and introducing our selves he admitted he was reading Pride and Prejudice. He defended himself by explaining that he was trying to catch up on the classics. I liked him. He was from Michigan and currently living in Houston too. Unfortunately, we started boarding the plane soon after, but at least continued talking until we parted to our assigned seats.
My roommate and her boyfriend were picking me up from the airport. When her boyfriend came in to pick me up and found me talking to the strapping young man at baggage claim, he gave me space to do my thing. But of course I didn’t really know what I was doing. We chatted until we walked out the door with luggage in hand and found our rides. I wanted to give him my number but I didn’t want to be too forward, so I rattled off two websites, the Ad Deum website and my church website so he could get more information about future dance performances and details on the upcoming Da Vinci Code book discussion my church was having.
The book discussion was a month later. I doubted he would show up, but of course I dreamt that he would and told my girlfriends about the exciting possibility. I arrived late to the discussion with two friends from the dance company. I took a quick glance around and decided he wasn’t there so I joined the potluck line. Then my stomach fell as I glanced up and caught him looking at me directly across the banquet table.
He invited my friends and I to sit with him at the same table. When it was over we found a quiet corner in the gymnasium where he suggested we exchange numbers and pick a time to get together. To seal the conversation he said, “it’s a date” which sounded sweet to my doubtful ears.
About a week later, he drove his motorcycle to the church parking lot where we met and he jumped in my car. Within the first five minutes he invited me to join him and his buddies the next time they went skydiving, but I avoided giving a serious answer. I probably would have jumped at the offer had I known the date was going to be so incredible. We ordered large messy burgers at the Hobbit Café. We stared at the intimidating meal, then he said “I won’t judge you if you don’t judge me.” Hearing that line made me like him even more and excited to dig into the meal! We followed that up with ice cream and a stroll around the nearby village. The evening ended with an amazing conversation outside on the patio of my favorite coffee shop.
Fireworks shot off on the next date, for the Fourth of July. We threw a blanket down at the park and made bets on where the fireworks were going to be shot from while the live orchestra played in the background. I was so thrilled to have an attractive man’s presence lean in my direction that I went home and re-enacted my favorite moment with my roommates.
Later he invited me over for a barbecue. We prepared our own beef patties and I enjoyed some subtly flirtatious moments, but the relationship started going down hill from there. I was insecure about my “dancer” feet so I wore socks outside on his patio. When he asked me why, I tossed out an excuse that I’m sure he saw right through. We kept our distance emotionally and physically. We never kissed or even hugged; I always waited for him to initiate something but he never did. We had a few more dates after that, but it was difficult to keep any sort of momentum going when he lived 45 minutes away and I was working 12 hour days, six days a week. The final call came while I was in the office - there was no better time to talk so I answered. He explained that it was time to stop his pursuit- it just wasn’t working. I agreed but was frustrated that my lifestyle made any romantic relationship nearly impossible.
First Love -
Airport boy had everything I thought I wanted at the time - he was perfectly tall, cute, and from the Midwest. I had one serious relationship prior; he’s called California boy here. California boy was incredible, but he was shorter than me. I never expected his height to be a problem because I was never attracted to taller guys before, but when he started talking about marriage I began to wonder what it might be like to date a guy who was a few inches taller.
California boy and I met on a spring-break mission trip to Israel. I was a junior in college. He was going to seminary in Boston, but grew up in California. We decided to be one of those goofy “kissed dating goodbye” couples, so we wouldn’t kiss until we got engaged, which added yet another strange aspect to our long-distance, but very serious relationship.
We were “just friends” for a while after the trip, but by the time school ended he jumped at the opportunity to visit Ohio and meet my family. Together we handled a lot of unexpected things, like my car hitting a runaway boat in the highway. But I never thought that introducing him to farm life at my great-uncle’s dairy farm would be just as eventful. We stood close to the cows to watch them get milked. Then, without warning, manure splashed all over our faces and shirts! It was a great time of laughter with my great uncle that I will never forget, and that’s saying a lot because almost all of my memories of my great uncle include him laughing.
I made a trip out to California a month or two later. California boy picked me up from the airport in an old fashioned white Volts Wagon Bug, just like Herby! Herby was cool but quirky! We had to push him in neutral to get him started, which made me mildly concerned when driving on the extra wide highways.
The most magical night happened when we went to the beach and were spellbound by the bio-luminescent tide. Glowing light, the color of lightning bugs, pulsed from the breaking waves and sand moving around my footsteps. He said I was lucky; some native Californians miss the spectacular event because it is so unpredictable.
Though I had always imagined myself single for a few years after college, I convinced myself that I would like to marry him; it seemed like he was waiting for me to agree. When I finally caught up to his level of intensity he ended the relationship a few days after my birthday. It was like climbing to the top of a roller-coaster and instead of getting a joyride the structure chose to disappear from underneath you.
I waited 21 years to be romanced and hadn’t been kissed. I wondered when and if it would come around again. I sat on my fire escape to hash things out with God. I let my fears and resentment fly out. Then something strange bounced back and land in my gut. It felt like an answer: five years.
Set-up This -
The five years passed with a few bittersweet events. During my tour with Ad Deum to Los Angeles, one of the girls set me up on a date with her brother. He reminded me of an advertisement I posted on my bedroom wall when I was in high school. During his earlier visit to Houston I thought I had watched him hit it off with one of the more beautiful girls from the company. So I was really excited later when his sister said he was actually interested in me. The date went well and I found him completely fascinating, but I didn’t let him pursue me because the situation didn’t make enough sense for anything real to develop.
Set-up That -
I had another friendship that made perfect sense on paper. At first I wasn’t attracted to him but with time the attraction grew. I started to imagine how easy the romance could be but our personalities didn’t mesh enough for anything more than friendship. Besides, I wanted to be honestly pursued by a man, and he just wasn’t doing that. I found myself reminiscing about California boy and decided that if I found a love like that again, I would not let a silly height difference concern me. After all, my insecurity wasn’t based on my taste; it was from worrying about what others might think.
Stand-in Kissing -
Finally, it was about time for me to get a kiss on the lips. I figured I deserved one simply because I was 26 years old. The only prior kiss I thought I had was a kindergarten smooch with the boy I imagined I'd grow-up to marry. It was in exchange for a coloring tip. I got the tip, but I’m not sure he took the kiss. Needless to say, when I met a tall man who looked like California boy I decided to take advantage of the opportunity. In the end, Look-alike guy was not a straight shooter and I felt silly for kissing a guy who never even became my boyfriend. The quasi relationship ended around my birthday too, therefore starting and ending exactly five years after the relationship with California boy.
When I finally moved away from Houston (where everyone was getting married except for me), I discovered that riggers fascinate me, and got my second kiss, but he didn’t become my boyfriend either! This time at least it wasn’t part of my expectation; I was just looking for a week of fun. Even with these low expectations, I was still disappointed when I realized he was looking for something I wouldn’t give him. Then one day, during a moment of channel surfing, I saw his face! I know it's silly, but I must admit, part of me is amused by the fact that I’ve kissed a T.V. star.
Runaway Boat -
My memories have certainly entertained me, but most single women out there know how the loneliness and frustration can sometimes become overwhelming. Friendship and laughter has been my favorite remedy. Many of these moments have been shared with my long-lost sister, Tracey. One summer, several years after college, we were visiting one another in Indiana. We sat by a stream discussing our theories on romance. We were both concerned about our incapability to identify and react appropriately to a potential romantic opportunity. We were afraid that we would, or already had, missed the “love boat”. We agreed to help one another when possible. A moment later we spotted an actual boat approaching down the river. From a distance we saw two attractive men on the boat. Tracey pointed out her favorite; luckily my eye favored the other guy more. We must have been starring, because they yelled out an invitation for us to join them for a ride. My mind jumped into turbo mode, imagining all the possible ways to board a boat without a dock, but my mouth only blurted, “What? A ride!?!” I was waiting for a blow to the arm and Tracey’s voice to respond with our acceptance, but she just stood there, silent. The boat kept on drifting by. It was unbelievable! We had just discussed our fear of missing the “love boat” and then it literally passed right by. Somehow fortunately, a few long-years later, we each jumped on board a boat with a man suited just right for a very fun and long adventure.
